UnrealisticExpectations 3.0

For the record, I have yet to feel like I’m 36, but my body is constantly reminding me.

That is, I still love my PSP, but other things keep me from fully letting go of the passage of time.

So, hold on; I’ll try and keep it clean.

I had to go to my Internal Med doctor yesterday. For lack of a great way of saying “Lower GI Issues”, I’ve been sorta “backed up”.

Quite frankly, Poo has never really been a problem in my life and, quite frankly I’m hoping this is not a fricken trend.

I can say with much certainty that this sucks.  I decided to truck myself to work to be a part of a division lunch thing instead of either working from home or taking a sick-on-the-pot day.

Ever heard of Magnesium Citrate? I have. The good news:  It’s not anything that requires a prescription so you can go to your local Walgreen’s and get your very own 10 oz. bottle for fun party tricks.

(As an aside, I’ve actually chuckled to myself about how funny it would be to make some sort of jello-shot concoction just to watch the results.  I digress.)

The bottle claims that it will cause a bowel movement in 1/2 to 6 hours.  My doctor claims it could take around 18.  The reality is that within moments of the first swig, the ol’ guts started to rumble and grumble.

Secretly, it made me a little happy.  Felt much better than feeling like I had cement hardening in there.

After the American Idol addiction was fixed and Sydney time was done and put to bed, Earl and Office were reruns so I zonked on the couch.  I should note that I started my first swig sometime around 6.30ish.  Sometime around 10ish when I got off of said couch, I felt normal-ish.

Then I stood up and felt like a whole bunch of stuff was going to fall out of me… only not just yet.

Yeah, well, let’s see you describe that feeling, okay?

Okay.

So I spent about an hour catching up on things like email and stuff that I would have normally missed had I gone to the gun club, but did not since it was raining.  About an hour later, round 1 struck.

I’m smart; I had a book that I’ve been reading at my desk. Then I grabbed it and hustled tail to the Master Bathroom, sure to shut the door and turn on the fan so as to not awake my bride.

She’s lucky I’m so thoughtful, no?

Suffice it to say that Round 1 led to 2, 3, 4 and even a little 5.  Then I took a siesta until this morning where Rounds 6 and 7 struck.

Boldly I took Sydney to the sitter and then boarded the train to work.  Even though I had a “get out of work free” pass.  Yeah, I’m an idiot. Quick walk to work, fire up the lappy, Round 8.

Patiently awaiting Rounds 9 to infinity but hoping that these bouts are long over before tomorrow’s hunting excursion.

The doctor was polite enough to suggest that perhaps I should make sure to take some Toilet Paper with me whilst hunting the fowl.

Thanks, Doc.

This entry was posted on Friday, March 10th, 2006 at 10:24 am and is filed under Bloggy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.