Before My Eyes
I fell asleep on the couch tonight–was up late last night really trying to get a leg up on the documentation that I need to create at work.
Anyway, I woke up to the sounds of Sydney coughing…non-stop.
I’d never quite heard her cough like this one and it’s been quite awhile since she was sick at all, so this really, truly freaked me out and I bolted upstairs to find Nicolle in her room, holding her, soothing her, talking softly to her.
I’m pretty sure we were both freaked out by this. In the end, I doubt it’s much more than allergies, but during those moments… those minutes…
Those agonizing, painful years of time dragging on as your child–the light of your life–is scared, coughing and wheezing and seemingly could up and stop breathing at any moment, you start to realize the stupid worries you put your own parents through by simply not calling and checking in.
I did all of the bargaining, mental searching for reasons and blame, getting pissed and irate at no one–but thankfully being smart enough to point out that I was not accusing just searching for something to hold on to as we were running through the scenario of an Emergency Room visit…
And then now, 2 hours later, there are two very beautiful girls sleeping somewhat soundly (one is sort of congested with a bit of a rattle in her) in my bedroom.
I’ll be on the couch soon; I hate to wake them when they’re like this.
I hate to miss the opportunity of having Sydney sleeping in the middle; she’ll outgrow this stuff soon enough and I’m sure I’ll miss it.