UnrealisticExpectations 3.0

This is from a DIY posting I made over at TehSoapBox, which is a pretty cool place with a lot of pretty cool people and if you’re pretty interested, just let me know and I’ll pretty easily send you off an invite.

I’m the first to admit that I suck at organizing “things” for me (irony much: my full time gig is organizing “things” for clients, and I’m actually good at that ), and since we built a new house nearly 2 years ago, there’s been hardly enough time to even consider yet another project, however…

A couple of months back, I decided it was time to finally clean the garage out. I dug out all the left over materials and grime and muck from finishing the basement and shoved it all right smack in the middle and started building a bunch of shelves. Nearly 300 sq ft of storage space when you get right down to it.

Oh, but shelves are easy, right? Just go to your local and pick up those wire things and voila!

No. No no no nonononononono!

I’ve got tools. Seems like every time I have to take on a new task there’s an excuse to get a new tool (bastards at Ryobi and your 18v battery system, I blame you!), so that’s an ever-growing thing.

So, anywho. I build a whole bunch of shelves, and it was pretty easy.

Basic needs:
A lot of 3/4″ plywood (1/2″ may work; it’s up to you) (you’ll need your own measurements, sorry)
A couple of boxes of 3.5″ - 4″ coarse threaded drywall-type screws
A couple of boxes of 2″ coarse threaded drywall-type screws
A really good drill / screwdriver
A really good studfinder, or at least knowledge of where your studs are
Another person to help you hold some stuff in place whilst you drill
A saw, probably a table saw, really
Tape measure
A level (I’d suggest a laser level, too, if you intend to put shelves around your entire garage space as this makes it easier to know where to put some guides)
Background music (I tend to work well with XM 49 playing, just saying)

Okay, so first and foremost, the best way to approach this task is to get a few 4′ x 8′ sheets of plywood. The good news is that places like Home Depot will actually cut them to size for you, for somewhere around $.50 a cut. Fair price, makes getting the wood home a lot easier.

For all the purposes of this little “how to” bit, I’m only going to talk about doing one “shelf section”. You should be able to apply the same sort of logic to the rest of your garage.

For 2 pieces of plywood, you’ll want to do the following:

Sheet 1: Cut at 24″ for the entire length of the board (you should have 2 2′ x 8′ sheets at this point)

Sheet 2: Cut at 24″ for the entire length of the board, but then also cut at every 24″ along the width (you should have 8 2′ x 2′ pieces at this point)

Okay. Awesome. You’re at a really good point to do something “on the wall” if you’d like.

Look at your wall and figure out where you’d like the top of your shelf to be. I used a laser level that I stuck on the wall and then I drove some of my 2″ drywall screws in a few turns as markers. These markers made it easier for me and the helper (translation: my wife) to hold the bottom board flat on the wall AND maintain it’s position with shifting it all over hell. You’ll be thankful for this tip, I assure you.

Take one of the 2′ x 8′ pieces and hold it against your garage wall. The top of this board is where you will place the 2′ x 8′ piece to actually be the shelf surface that you can rest things on.

Find your studs. Put about 3-4 3.5″ - 4″ drywall screws into your studs. This should make a fun sound and kill a lot of screwdriver/drill battery. The good news is that if you throw a couple of screws into the studs on both ends, your assistant can most likely let go of the board at this point. Finish those screws.

This is really just an “apron” that is secured to the wall and allows you to drill other things into it, without requiring you to always be on a stud. It’s a pretty nice thing to have, really, it’s just nowhere near as pretty as finished drywall.

Okay, so you’ve got your apron, but what about the rest, right?

Right.

Take those 2×2 pieces of plywood. Measure 4″ off of each side, and cut away. I know I had you cut them down to 2′ x 2′, but these are just easier to get home and a lot easier to cut on your own.

Take your 20″ x 20″ pieces and your level and draw a cut line across the diagonal. You’re makeing triangles, kiddies!!

The next part is really the “rest of the job”.

Take 3-4 of those triangles. For each, screw a rectangle piece (remember those 4″ pieces I just had you cut off? Yeah, those) on to one of the 90-degree-angled sides (not the hypotenuse, math nerds).

Once you have those 3-4 “shark fins” as my daughter called them, you should then line them up across the width of the apron on the wall. It should be obvious that the top of the shark fin should line up with the top of your apron, as this is what is going to be supporting the shelf.

Drill 3-4 2″ screws into the apron for your shark fins. In general, these shark fins should be 3-4′ apart, but you can modify depending upon what you’ll be placing on your shelf. Remember: Thanks to our handy dandy apron, you don’t have to worry about aligning these with your studs.

Also: My wife came up with a brilliant plan to use some under-shelf wire baskets from The Container Store, so you may want to pre measure for those, as well, so you know the minimum width you’ll want.

Take your remaining 2′ x 8′ piece of plywood. Set it on top of your shark fins, push it back to the wall.

Ta-fricken-da! You’ve got a pretty big, pretty kick ass shelf now.

See my gallery for an idea of just how messy my garage was/is.

I used 2″ screws to screw down the top of my shelf and 3.5″ - 4″ screws at an angle to drill the backside into the apron. In hindsight, it may have been wise to throw another one of those rectangle pieces on top of my shark fin to drill into from the top (that way I didn’t have to be so damned accurate), but you’ll find what works best for you.

Hope that helps!

I meant to write this a couple of days ago, because it’s really been on my mind a lot.

On Monday, Nicolle and Sydney went to the park. I went to the garage and did some miter cuts and some sanding and cutting and sanding and staining and staining again.

Nicolle took a lot of photos, and a couple of my favorites are here:

and here:

(you can click on the pics to see the full gallery)

I consider myself one lucky shit to have such a beautiful thing in my life. I’m reminded just how little I care about things that I wanted all of 4 or so years ago and how much I care about big hugs, big kisses and big smiles. I love being able to do things for Sydney that lead to more of those things for me. Yeah, yeah. And Nicolle, too.

But the bigger picture here is that a bunch of people long before any of us were born risked or lost their lives to make sure that on a Monday when there’s no work for most of us… my kid can go play in a park, safely, without worry, and not even need to think about it.

But I think about it.

So should you.

Never forget.

It’s a little late, but for Mother’s Day, we took Nicolle to the Morton Arboretum for a brunch and family photos. We became members, which was probably a great deal considering how much they offer for kids and considering how much it actually costs just to park and get in. Not to mention a couple of kids shows and concerts that we’ll get to see for much better prices this summer–in an outdoor, comfortable and fun setting.

Here’s my family, the most recent:

I dig my kid:

And I dig my wife and kid (my two girls, if you’re in to that sorta thing):

I’m pretty proud of my family; on photo paper, we at least appear to be pretty darn happy–and in reality, it takes a lot of courage for me to say this for fear of repercussions just for, well, saying it: We are pretty darn happy.

There, I said it.

I’m looking forward to the shortened work week and to Saturday–we’re taking Sydney to see “Ralph’s World” at the Chicago House of Blues; free Rice Krispies if you get there by 9a! We may enjoy this pretty city for a bit or we may just head back home on the train, but the day’s about the daughter and that’s almost never a bad day.

Then, in just a couple of weeks after that, we’re off to take Sydney to her first ever Cubs game! From the Bleachers! My daughter’s getting exposed to my sort-of-off sense of humor, a wide, wide variety of music (and dancing!) and the Friendly Confines of Wrigley Field. It’s the right way to start off her fun little life, methinks.

There’s a lot of buzz going around about…

09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0

Damn. Just wish I could figure out what it is or what it means…

Lots of hubbub in the world around old–and I mean old–Don Imus.

Everyone’s ready to castrate a man for a slip up–not even one made out of malice, but one made by and old dude trying to play some humor.

Blacks are offended. Women are offended. Whites can’t say things like that. Imus should be fired.

Right-on! While we’re at it, let’s start drowning some kittens every time someone says something stupid. You know, like that stupid thing you said a few minutes ago, yesterday or last week. Hell, if you’re me, it was probably within the past 10 seconds.

Anyway, I’ve already ranted a lot more than I wanted to. Every media outlet, every perfect citizen has now had the opportunity to say Imus’ little slur outloud, in print or online, and you’ll notice how I avoided it–although we’ve all been given cart blanche to say it or write it and it’s okay now.

I’ll tell you what I think: Most people are hippocrites and most people say far worse with much mor malice towards others all the damn time and the way this is being handled in the “free market” is total garbage. Most people don’t even listen to Imus to understand the context. Hey, it’s not like he went all Kramer on anyone.

Each one of you casting stones should remember: You could be next.

Even Barack Obama, a man I had a lot of hope for, wants Old Don fired, but Obaby sure can forgive other people in politics–seems like he may have a bandwagon streak in him. Much easier than acknowledging what a bunch of horse pucky this is.

We live in stupid times, folks. Anything for a cause, no matter how stupid it is, I suppose. At the end of the day, if you don’t like it, turn the dial. That’s worked for people and Al Sharpton for years.

Seriously.

Sydney’s 3.5 years old–a big girl who, after watching “Happy Feet”, apparently loves to dance and wiggle around. So, this morning when trudging through the overnight deluge of SPAM, I found a concert update for Chicago and saw that “Ralph’s World” is playing at our local House of Blues.

I used to see Ralph (Covert) in his band “The Bad Examples” years and years ago at the 9th Street Pub in gloriously scenic LaSalle, Illinois, and Ralph even used to hit on my then gf. People change, life moves on, he’s doing the kid thing and I’ve got a kid and this is about her not some guy-thing from 15 or so years ago. Maturity RAWKS!

We talked about it briefly this morning–tickets are $15 each, we’d take a train downtown in the morning and Sydney would dig that, then we’d see the show, grab some lunch and head to the Shedd to check out the fishies, get thoroughly exhausted and probably pass out on the train ride home.

Good times.

I go online. I purchase the tickets–I even get 3 free songs on iTunes and a free iTunes sampler! Sweet!

Then, because I didn’t really watch the course of events unfold on my screen, I see that my $45 in tickets has just netted me a charge of:

$79.95

WTF? Did I buy 5 tickets instead?

No, no folks, I did not.

See, I know many people hate Ticketmaster. I’ve always kind of been aware of it, but likened it to hating a Wal~Mart or PayPal or some other thing that I find a use for. It just happens. People need their causes and their reasons to be upset and if I explored those things further instead of being selfish about my own wants and needs, I may be pissed-off, too.

But today, well, today I learned why Ticketmaster is nothing but artful douchebaggery.

Artful.

Douchebaggery.

I said it.

What a bunch of fucking chimps. $80 for a kids event that should have cost me $50ish. I could have gotten tickets at our local Morton Arboretum in July, most likely for a lot less AND probably could have gotten an annual family membership, to boot. But the whole “Big Day in the Big City” appealed to is, so it was less about the money and more about the entire experience.

Here’s my experience:

Purchase Summary
Event/Item Qty Type Sec Row Seats Description
Ralphs World
House of Blues Chicago
Chicago, IL
Sat, Jun 2, 2007 09:00 AM 3 FULL PRICE TICKET G.A.
PRICE LEVEL 1
GENERAL ADMISSION TICKETS

Ralphs World
FULL PRICE TICKET US $15.00 x 3 Facility Charge US $1.50 x 3
Convenience Charge US $7.50 x 3 (WTF!!! That’s mighty convenient… for Ticketmaster!)

Delivery (TicketFast Delivery) US $2.50
Order Processing Fee US $4.55

Additional Taxes US $0.90
Total Charges US $79.95

Enjoy my money, Ticketmaster. I cannot wait for someone to find the right new way to knock you off your pedestal.

Jagoffs.

Fatwallet is teh Awesome.

And, if you flip through the first page of this thread, I’m pretty funny, too.

http://www.fatwallet.com/t/18/707865/

Enjoy, while I go play some Xbox360 and/or Wii.

Thanks for all the feedback–I ended up going with the logo shown and pushed the blue color to something a little more… “Elmer’s”, I think.

I’ve been diligently working on trying to put together a design for the website–it’s a struggle as design isn’t my strongest point, but I’ve got the basics of positioning, etc. set-up so the rest should start to fall into place.

But, alas, what’s a company without a website? What’s a company with collateral?

Well, anyone who’s done anything with design knows that if you make such things as business cards and you cheap out… people will know, and you’ll just look, well, cheap.

Especially the business cards.

But, I’m a bit of a miser about this sort of thing, so I decided to explore some online options. In the end, I wasn’t comfortable with VistaPrint for business cards–I don’t like things tooooooo glossy gloss, so even though they were an inexpensive option, I keep remembering some people passing out their free cards at networking events and how… tacky it felt–even though it was going to be 100% my own design and not the freebie stuff.

So, I kept looking. I found a bunch of different places for a bunch of differnent things. From 4by6.com to OvernightPrints.com and the aforementioned VistaPrint, I’ve found reasonably-priced resources for just about everything I could ever need.

My business cards arrived today from OvernightPrints–I uploaded my order on Thursday night, it printed Friday, shipped Monday and arrived today for the low low price of around $66 for 500 business cards with a 14 pt stock with a satin finish and rounded corners. Good quality stock, good printing and that’s the important thing.

I’m awaiting envelopes from VistaPrint before I get too carried away; I’m currently exploring the world of new gigs as my contract is up at the end of May and I grow weary of being a contractor, however, if a solid, fun contract keeps me in that world a bit longer, then it may be high time to go and seek out some additional collateral (post-its, pens) to leave behind.

Vote for me!

Thanks again for the input. Now if I could just be better at visual design, I could be happy. Happier. Or something.

Sydney’s taking swimming lessons. She’s kind of a natural and in the big kids class, even though she’s a first timer. My baby girl’s an aqua rock star.

Barack Obama announced his campaign for the Presidency of the United States.

Never has any single person–man, woman, black, white, etc. etc.–ever touched on so many points that I, personally, feel pretty strongly about.

The political swarm around 2008 is going to be something to behold. I’m glad to get to be alive for this; no matter how ugly it gets or what the landscape shifts to, to get to witness it all unfolding will be awesome–and I’m not assuming anyone is the winner, or loser, at this point, I’m just saying…

I’m just saying. The world’s finally going to get to a point of feeling like people are wrestling for something better instead of wrestling for that which is less evil or the devil you know versus the devil you don’t.

Neat.

In the world of everyone fighting for my dime and my time, Netflix is a current winner.

For starters, I hate hate hate going to video stores. Hell, I used to manage one back in college and I loved the job, but it was a task to hire people who either didn’t steal from you or who actually took pride in their work and cared about the customers.

Yeah, that was me at college. I even worked my ass of 3-4 shifts a week so the Store Manager could take all the credit of keeping his store in order. Pathetic, but I digress.

Video Storeheads are also a bit elitist–they know all about the movies, they silently judge you as you check out (oooh, another Steven Segal for you, sir?) or they pretend to have so much more knowledge than you because they actually work “in the industry”–but, here’s a secret for you storehead: Everyone knows that everything comes out on Tuesday and you don’t get a SAG card for working at Blockbuster, okay? Okay. Now, shut up and hand me that Van Damme movie without giving me your better-than-me look because you get a handful of these rentals for free each week; it’s a guilty pleasure and I’m in the mood for staying up late, eating White Castle and enjoying some Van Damme-age while my wife and kid are out of town.

But, enter Netflix.

For my monthly fee, I get a couple of more movies, no late fees, no driving out at 11:50 on a week night to return that damn video and snotty little 23 year old store manager on a retail power trip.

And, honestly, that was enough for me. I’d sometimes supplement this $18 a month fee with a trip to the local store to find a video game or a handful of different movies if I knew I’d have nothing to do and could use the extra entertainment, but with the inclusion of the XBox 360 and Nintendo Wii into my life, well, I’d just as soon buy a single game and not have to deal AND I’ve got something to do when there’s nothing to watch–and let’s not forget that thanks to the DVR, I’ve got tons of television stuff that I’m missing. And don’t get me started on iPod Videos that make their way down from iTunes or other sources.

But, here comes Netflix with a PVT (Previously Viewed Tapes, at BBV (Blockbuster Video), so maybe it’s just PV) program. Not only are they kind enough to make recommendations (and Netflix, take this hint: Make it easier for me to find the stuff out on DVD this week, okay? Okay. Let’s keep my queue fat without much effort on my part), but they’ll even show you every single item with a little highlight noting when it’s available to purchase as “used”.

But wait. Waitwaitwait.

It gets better.

Easier, even.

Once you click to let them know you’re interested… this little Ajax-like div/popup lets you get right to the action and decide right then and there if you’re ready to have that Pirates of the Caribbean shipped to your home.

Not only that, but since you’re most likely already logged-in, they let you know that by pushing ONE MORE BUTTON Pirates will be shipped right to your doorstep where your subscription goes to and will be billed right to the card your subscription is billed to.

Take that, Amazon! I love Amazon and spend more money there than I ever probably should, but when you purchase a Prime membership, you find ways to make it worth your money–and it generally is. The problem with Amazon is that their checkout process–even when using that beloved 1-click–is TOO DAMN TEDIOUS and there’s too much for me to look at and review.

My ADHD does not like this.

My ADHD likes pushing one more button and being finished with the process, having a movie on its way and me back to browsing the next movie that is going to my queue when I should be designing screens for some online functionality for my bosses.

And if that wasn’t cool enough, Netflix has been adding 250,000 users per week of their “watch it now” service which gives, well, me, 18 hours a month of free, on-demand content to watch. Sure, just at my computer, but I’ve got dual monitors AND I’m on these computers far too much as it is. And if I’m travelling for work, it beats the hell out of porn per view, right? Sure, the selection isn’t great just yet, but they’re preparing for a future where this getting movies by mail just won’t cut it, which is something the Blockbusters of the world should have been doing while they’ve been raking in profits for years.

So, Netflix, keep those top couple of buttons open on that shirt of yours. The Sternum Bush is rocking my world.

And keeping me away from the Video Store Ninjas that I hate so much.